Post by Rosie on Sept 22, 2005 15:56:32 GMT
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are actual responses by the website officials, who obviously had a sense of humour.
Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die!
Q:Will i be able to see kangaroos in the street? (Usa)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking!!!
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can i follow the railroad lines? (sweden)
A: Sure its only 3,000 miles, take lots of water!
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia (Sweden)
A; So its true what they say about Swedes!
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townville and Hervey Bay?(uk)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Hippo racing in Australia? (usa?
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe! Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in King's Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (usa)
A: Face South then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q:Can i bring cutlery into Australia? (uk)
A: Why?Just use your fingers like we do!
Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (usa)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bprdering with Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in King's Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can i wear high heels in Australia? (uk)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there any supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round (germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake syrum. (usa)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets!
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but i forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees (usa)
A: It's called a drop bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q:Do you have perfume in Australia? (france)
A: No, WE don't stink!
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: When do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (france)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and i want to contact the girl I dated while i was staying at King's Cross. Can you help? (usa)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Come naked.
Q: Will i be able to speak English most places i go? (usa)
A: Yes, but you'll hae to learn it first!!
Have Fun!
Rosie xxx
Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die!
Q:Will i be able to see kangaroos in the street? (Usa)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking!!!
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can i follow the railroad lines? (sweden)
A: Sure its only 3,000 miles, take lots of water!
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia (Sweden)
A; So its true what they say about Swedes!
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townville and Hervey Bay?(uk)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Hippo racing in Australia? (usa?
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe! Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in King's Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (usa)
A: Face South then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q:Can i bring cutlery into Australia? (uk)
A: Why?Just use your fingers like we do!
Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (usa)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bprdering with Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in King's Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can i wear high heels in Australia? (uk)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there any supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round (germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake syrum. (usa)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets!
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but i forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees (usa)
A: It's called a drop bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q:Do you have perfume in Australia? (france)
A: No, WE don't stink!
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: When do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (france)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and i want to contact the girl I dated while i was staying at King's Cross. Can you help? (usa)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Come naked.
Q: Will i be able to speak English most places i go? (usa)
A: Yes, but you'll hae to learn it first!!
Have Fun!
Rosie xxx